


Lost Myth of True Love

by garfieldkin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Falling In Love, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Pining, Rated M for language, Tags to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:20:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25620487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garfieldkin/pseuds/garfieldkin
Summary: Remus Lupin has always been so sure of himself. But as the new year at Hogwarts begins, he soon realizes it’s all coming down. And it’s entirely Sirius Black’s fault.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 9





	Lost Myth of True Love

If the swirling in his gut wasn’t a dead giveaway before, the heat that rushed to Remus’ face when Sirius had put his hand on his shoulder  _ was _ . He fancied his friend. For months now, he has tried to deny it. He’s tried to explain these feelings away.  _ Of course I don’t fancy Sirius, I’ve just been having an off day _ , Remus would always tell himself. Or,  _ Sirius is being cheeky on purpose, trying to mess with me.  _ And always,  _ I’m not even gay. Why, if I am not gay, would I fancy a bloke? My friend? _ But at this moment, there was no more denying it. 

With Sirius’ hand on Remus’ shoulder, he could feel his pulse quicken. Sirius gave his shoulder a pat, laughing over to James. “I’ll take Moony instead, then, bastard! He’d be delighted,” Sirius smiled as he turned back to Remus. “Fancy a swim tonight, my friend?” He asked with a smirk.

Remus was avoiding his face as best he could without being suspicious. Shrugging the hand off of his shoulder, he cleared his throat. “Er- I can’t, I’ve got too much work to catch up on.” 

Sirius chuckled, looking at him with a puzzled look. “I thought you finished your work this morning?” From across the room, James snorts. Remus feels his face get impossibly hotter than it already is. 

Remus clears his throat, avoiding both of his friends’ gaze. “It’s extra work I’ve picked up…” He picks up his bag from the floor and starts out of their dorm. That was his plan from the start, but Sirius unintentionally led him into a lie. He had no extra work, but Sirius wasn’t going to accept his excuse of wanting to enjoy his new book in peace. He couldn’t peacefully enjoy his book with Sirius shirtless. Or in the dark. 

“Fine then, I’ll resort to inviting those Ravenclaw blokes from charms class,” Sirius groans, grabbing his wand from his nightstand. Remus hangs by the door to listen in. Sirius stuffs his wand into his pocket before turning back to James. “Sure you don’t want to come?”

James shook his head, focusing on his homework in his lap. “Not inviting Wormtail, then?”

“He can’t swim,” Sirius said bluntly.

“The Ravenclaws can?” James rubbed his eyes as he continued his work. 

“I’m sure they can,” Sirius ruffles James’ hair before making his way out of the dorm as well. He catches Remus before he can leave without interaction. “Still a no to the swim, then?” He asks with a smile. 

“I’ve too much to do tonight,” Remus says with false disappointment. Thankfully, for him, Sirius departed as soon as they reached the common room. Once he knew he had gone for good, Remus picked a spot to relax and read near the fireplace. With nobody around, especially  _ not _ Sirius, he felt he could finally relax and continue his reading. The novel he had in his lap was following a young, French peasant man falling in love with the daughter in the upper-class family he worked for. So far, it was quite boring.

As time went on, Remus felt that he couldn’t concentrate. The scattered talk of the students remaining in the common room seemed to distract him so easily. Some third years were holding hands and speaking in low voices that made Remus cringe. He forced himself to return his focus to the novel once again. The peasant boy was on the verge of weeping as he saw his love’s engagement near. This was pathetic. He had had several different opportunities to confess his love to the rich woman, yet he always backed out due to fear. The best part about the ordeal was that she had shown that his feelings may very well be reciprocated. But the peasant is just a coward. 

The crackle of the fireplace piqued Remus’ interest as the rich woman tore up her garden in frustration with the peasant. The warmth and noise eased Remus, and he rested his head on the back of the chair. It was becoming quite chilly these days, and a fireplace gave him an insignificant comfort. Sirius was a madman to be swimming in temperatures like this. But he never cared for being the rational one, now did he? He chuckled to himself as he thought of Sirius jumping into the lake in the cold autumn weather. Even shivering, he’d probably still look enchanting. Dripping wet, chattering teeth. He’d probably be laughing like mad. That sweet laughter. Remus felt his stomach twist at the thought of it. 

It seems that the adamant denial hadn’t erased his feelings for Sirius. It did the opposite. At first, it was insignificant. It didn’t matter much because he had never felt this way before, let alone felt that way toward a bloke. Sure, he’d truly fancied girls in the past, but this was unlike any crush he had experienced. Then came the giddiness he forced himself to hide. Sirius could do the littlest thing, and Remus would have a lingering smile for hours. 

Through all this, Remus reminded himself that this isn’t a crush. He would never have a crush on a guy. And  _ never _ on his best friend. But, as time went on, the denial faded. He couldn’t keep it up any longer. Remus hid his face in his hands and sighed. The novel fell to the ground, but he didn’t mind. How could he like men? They’d never caught his eye, and he couldn’t even reason how anyone  _ could _ like them. It all felt embarrassing. What was he to tell his parents? Was he to tell them at all? And what if Sirius caught on? What would he say? What if Sirius-

“Rough night, then, I suppose?” Remus looked up from his hands. Lily Evans. Of course. He gave her a gentle smile. “Busy?” She pointed to the fallen novel and he shook his head. 

“Tired,” He answered, reaching down to grab the poor book. As he looked back to her, he noticed she had something in her hand. “What have you got?” Remus asked. 

“Potter’s silly note,” Lily shook her head, chuckling to herself. She held it out to Remus. “I was going to return it myself, but I missed the chance to. Figured you could give it to him, then. Tell him I think the attempts are slowly lessening in quality.” 

Remus took the folded note and she gave him a nod and a smile. As she turned to walk away, he spoke. “They had quality at the beginning, then?” He pocketed the note as he cracked a smile. James really was persistent. 

Evans laughed. “I’m not sure you could say that. But perhaps soon he’ll take the hint.” Remus shook his head. “I suppose he’ll be perusing me as I walk down the aisle as well?”

“It’s possible. But hopefully, he’ll…” Remus waved his hand, “Respect your choice. Soon, preferably.” She smiles at him and he nods. 

“He can fancy me, but I’ll be fine without the constant reminders he seems fit.” Evans waves goodbye and rejoins her group of friends at the window. She puts up with so much. And the bloke doesn’t have shame in it either. He’s made it clear that he’ll go lengths for her. And she’s made it clear that she isn’t quite interested. Yet she gives him the time of day. James takes that as reciprocation. 

Remus doesn’t even bother to continue his book tonight, he’s too tired. So for a moment, he just watches the common room slowly empty. Now it’s just him and a group of third-year girls. His eyes start to fail him, and he takes it as his cue to head to sleep. As he starts to make his way back to the dorm, he hears the portrait door open. Looking back, he knows the only person it could be.

Sirius Black removes James’ invisibility cloak from around him. The third-years glance over at him and immediately start to giggle amongst themselves. His black hair is drying and his shirt is unbuttoned. He smiles at Remus, looking ecstatic. Here we go again. “You’re still up! Thought you’d have gone to bed by now,” Sirius catches up to Remus and clasps his hand on his shoulder. Immediately, Remus pushes it off. His face is getting flushed, and that would just make it worse. “What’s that about?” Sirius questions, sticking his hand into his pocket. 

“You’re all… You’re soaking, Padfoot, I don't want to get wet,” He says, leading the way to their dorm. “And why are you all… cheerful? It’s probably one o’clock in the morning. You should be exhausted.”

“Well, I am exhausted, yeah,” Sirius answers as Remus opens the door to their dorm. “But I reckon something good has happened tonight. And-” Sirius lowers his voice as they enter the room, “I’ll just recount the night to you all over breakfast.” He’s beaming. Remus can’t help but smile. “You should have come," He says softly. Remus shakes his head. "Goodnight, Moony.” Sirius whispers with a chuckle before climbing into his bed and falling asleep. 

“Night, Padfoot.” But Remus doesn’t drift off so easily. He stared up at the ceiling and let his mind wander. His laugh rings in his head. That sweet, haunting laugh. The breathtaking smile that came with it. All of it made Remus giddy. The more he thought of him, the more he adored every little thing. And his confidence doesn't help Remus much. The way he's unafraid to be so open and free with everything he does makes Remus' knees weak.  


Looking over, Remus could see Sirius in his bed asleep. He slept so beautifully. Blanket pulled up to his chin, Sirius shifted in his bed, turning toward Remus. A part of him wished he were in bed with him. But another part of him wished these thoughts would vanish. If Sirius could just be a girl…  _ If Sirius were a girl, this would be much easier _ , Remus thought. He wouldn’t feel as awkward about any of this. He might even shoot his shot… With a sigh, Remus turned away in his bed.

**Author's Note:**

> ok please be patient w me I haven’t posted in years and this is my first ever chapter work 😖✋ I just want to contribute  
> But I appreciate feedback!


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